Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
