ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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