So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
