I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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