well most of my day revolves around power hour
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
