I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
