i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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