last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
