I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
