hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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