I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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