I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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