I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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