I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
