I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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