What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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