i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Someone came in the potted fern
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
