Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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