Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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