how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
