you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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