I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
