She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
