the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
