He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
