Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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