problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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