hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
