I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
