Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
