Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am available for nakedness
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
