glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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