I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
