why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
