was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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