I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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