Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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