I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
