Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
