i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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