help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I want a musical about memes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
