Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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