I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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