if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
