jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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