Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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