Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
