should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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