addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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