Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Everyone says I win the strip club
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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